Monday, March 22, 2004

it's tense here now that yassin has been killed. funny how blowing up an evil cripple makes you feel like youre walking on glass whenever it's brought up. fact is, a lot of people are going to die. probably up until the end of passover. another fact, people would have died anyway. i guess it's just a matter of numbers. i'm trying to stay in my university bubble, and i've got lots of work to do. still, it's been a strange day. random attacks around the country, including a guy with a knife in yaffo. yaffo, christ. and a guy with an ax in ramat gan. i wanted to go down to yaffo on sunday to do some shopping, now i doubt i'll go. jesus fuck. i got on a bus this morning after hearing the news. i dont know why. probably a stupid thing to do. i'll take the bike out of retirement this week. even if my chances of getting hit by a car are better than getting blown up. at least if i get hit by a car the worst that happens is you die or break some bones. getting blown up and surviving means losing arms, legs, disfigurement...who knows what. sometimes i'll sit in the middle of the bus and the thought of, "at least if it happens here i'll probably die quick" comes over me. sick, huh? the bus was relatively empty today. i imagine it'll stay empty all week. passover is coming up and i dont want to think about what that'll mean. some people are really worried. a friend in my program kept talking about it, and wanting to know how i felt. truth is, i dont really know how i feel. i've stopped analyzing the politics here because i've learned that it can drive you crazy. i know that a bad man died and the world is better off. i know people are going to die. i know people would die anyway, whether sheikh yassin was killed or not, maybe fewer but still. i just dont want to die because a stranger decides to blow himself up next to me.

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