Thursday, September 11, 2003

So I kept telling myself i wouldn't write anything here about terrorism, or suicide bombings, or anything like that. i just didn't want to. a good part of me still doesn't, but i dont think i can really go on without saying something about it. no one's asked about it, but i suppose this is more for myself then anything else. maybe someone's interested, i don't know. either way.

it really is coincidence that it's september 11th. i certainly never planned to write about this today, maybe it's something subconcious. i'm sitting here watching CNN, which is pretty similar to CNN back in the states, i wont get into details about the differences. they've had some bar on the bottom of the screen saying "9/11 the legacy" for the last week now, i'll be glad when it's gone. i hate those stupid bars. if i bought into conspiracies i'd say that the TV manufacturers have paid off the cable networks to use all those stupid bars and tradmark crap in order to get people to buy bigger tv's. I wonder how long until we start hearing news specials like "people who can't let go of 9/11." probably not until after the next election. get ready, because it's going to get really nauseating next fall when the politicians start pullling out the 9/11 card. keep the puke buckets nearby, you'll need them.

so there have been 3 suicide bombings since i got here 41 days ago. two in jerusalem and one near rishon le'zion which is relatively close to tel aviv. (imagine you're in smithtown and a suicide bomb goes off in hicksville). last i checked that makes it 37 people killed since i got here. At least by suicide bombs, i dont remember how many sniper attacks there were, i think 2 or 3 maybe. the intifada moves so fast it's hard to keep track. every day there's something new. new politicians, new militants, new attacks, new counterattacks, new assassinations, new settlement building, opening borders, closing goes on and on like that.

i heard of one soldier that got killed somewhere, hebron or ramallah or jenin or one of those places on the other side of the green line. he didn't have on a vest because there are so many operations going on that there just aren't enough vests to go around. of course, the government has just issued to give some ridiculous amount of money to the settlements.

i know most people reading this probably don't know what this is all about, if it makes you feel any better, sometimes it gets crazy enough that no one really remembers what it's all about. all people can seem to remember at times is how angry they are, how sad they are, and how much they hate each other. you can see it sometimes on peoples faces, just for a fraction of a second, and then it's gone. you can see documentries or on the news sometimes in interviews with hamas or fatah or sometimes settlers, and you can see that their eyes are dead. people looking for death, seeking it out like blood hounds. it's sick. it's frightening.

it's not everything, i dont want anyone to get that idea. it's not like you sit around waiting or talking about it or anything like that. but if you hear sirens for just a little longer then you think you should, you can't help but start to wonder. and if two ambulances or cop cars go screaming by, you take a look out the window, you might turn on the news. if it wakes you up it's pretty bad, because everything gets magnified in your sleep, and you'll get up in a rush and look around, ask if something happened. maybe check the news. my cousin just did it, and she's lived here her whole life.

it's not normal. everyone here knows that. i dont want to get into my politics, christ knows i'm probably the only one who thinks the way i do, so i'll just keep my opinion to myself. i think that's really all i felt the need to say, maybe i'll write more on this later. but 37 people in 41 days. i'm just not eloquent enough to say much about that.


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