Monday, June 13, 2005

all is better in the world. at least as far as hearing from my homestay goes. i was mostly gonna crap myself because if for some reason it fell though i'd have a shit time of trying to find one now, and definatly would have to pay more. expensive fucking city. although i hear since i'll buying my food at the grocers it's very cheap. unfortunatly, i also hear english produce is quite shite. ah well. i'm just going to live on guiness anyway. one more paper left and the research is killing me. the cure for insomnia? central asia.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

someone has made everything feel different.

in other news, i'm pretty much down to just one more paper. of course it's going to be my crappy central asia paper and my prof is making me meet him tomorrow at 9 in the a fucking m. to those of you not living in the jewish state, that's the equivalent of being asked to meet your prof at 9 in the a fucking m on a saturday morning. who does that?! i'm just going to crap that paper out in two weeks, i know it. classes are all done, which is so very strange. i'm pretty much done with grad school save for the thesis. the mind bogglingly huge thesis. the good news is that i've dug up all my sources from here that i'll need so i'm all set for london next month. speaking of london, i havent heard back from my homestay in over a week since i gave them my dates for arriving and that has me kind of worried. hope they didnt implode or anything. fuckers. ahhh...still, everything feels different and new and good in the oddest most peculiar of ways.

Saturday, May 21, 2005

so bad at updating. i'm a douchebag. anyway, i finally saw hitchhikers guide last night. fuckin' brilliant. really loved it. they managed to combine adams' themes from all the books and create something i think he would have been really proud of. excellent comedic timing. and very very british. i'll get around to seeing star wars tonight.

i went to see the movie alone last night. i do that sometimes. there's something nice about seeing a movie alone, moreso if you can get a little isolated spot somewhere in the theater (i couldnt, but at least the people around me really liked the film). i know some people who like seeing movies alone, but i think we may be few and far between. i got a slice of pizza and went down to the beach afterwards to eat it. i may be the only person who does this kind of thing. then again, i haven't really made much effort to find anyone else who appreciates geeky british sci-fi comedy and late night pizza on a quiet beach. this may be because i imagine any discussion about this sort of thing gets awkward after, "you went to see a movie by yourself? why would anyone do that?"

i spent most of last week listening to miles davis' 'kind of blue' over and over again. i love rediscovering an old favorite album. i also spent most of the past week pretending that i was actually getting work done while actually applying for jobs in the states; mostly intelligence analyst kind of stuff. we'll see how i do. i can tell you that i wont be working for the FBI anytime soon as i have "smoked marijuana in the past three years." i wonder if i still wouldnt be eligable if i were fluent in 20 languages. i imagine i would be. teaching seems more and more like a nice idea.

im trying to figure out how much money i'll need in london. most answers point to "more than i have" but i shall survive. after all, i can just live on guiness. at least i've got a place to stay. now i need a cheap ticket. it's all very strange. it hasn't hit me yet that i'll be leaving here in a little under two months. this may be because i dont want to think about what i'll do with myself in new york. on the other hand, i should probably just realize that time is running quite short and make the most of what i've got. fuck. i really should be. what am i doing on here?

Saturday, May 07, 2005

i think i used to be funnier. i'm not sure why that is. perhaps it's just time. i think this may happen to comedians in general. i know there are comedians who i thought were hysterical five or ten years ago that just cant get a laugh out of me now. all this got me thinking about love, because, well, that's just what i tend to think about on those long walks home after a long dinner with friends and several bottles of wine. so i began to think that perhaps there is something in the pitch or tone or tempo or all of these in the human voice that resonates in perfect harmony with the ears of another particular individual. that there is something in the human voice that reverberates love in waves. that the kind words between lovers remain kind for a lifetime. that sincerity remains sincere, that humor remains funny, that honesty is carried from lips to ears in every note uttered.

but perhaps these are just the thoughts that are carried by the wind over the mediterainian and down sycamore lined boulevards.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Somewhere near the Syrian border is a long winding highway leading nowhere. To the west is the occasional army base built into the hills. To the east is the low plains controlled by the UN and beyond them the Syrian towns that once existed on our side of the border. A rare army jeep rolls by, but the road is otherwise empty and the view soon turns to one of endless untouched nature. The plain spreads to both sides and the landscape gently rolls. The high golden grass gives way to patches of tall free trees and a sparkling still pond half hidden by an untrodden hill. The nature is raw and undistrubed for some forty years now. The grass will continue to grow wild and forests may sprout. No fish in the pond shall be caught. For a hundred lifetimes this small patch of eden on earth may stay touched only by the hand of god. Thus I learned that some of the most beautiful places on earth are those laced with mines.

Monday, April 11, 2005

so i've been bad about updating. well, not that bad. whatever. shut up. man...it's fucking gorgeous outside. i'm gonna go for a run and a swim. that's right, i live by the beach so i can go for a run and then jump into the bathwater warm med. how am i going to deal with real winter? i dont fucking know. particularly since there's a minor chance i'll be spending next winter in a little town in alaska. that's right, i'm out to live life like northern exposure. where's the fuckin' moose? yeah...so i applied for a 'job' through americorps, which is like the peacecorps but domestic. it's a neat little job actually, beyond the fact that the pay is pretty crummy. the opportunity, though, would be amazing. community development and tourism. i think i just want to be a jack of all trades kind of guy. just be experienced in all kinds of different things. perhaps it's the ADD. could be. either way i realize that the only other jobs out there that i might be qualified for is working as an analyst for the CIA/DoD/FBI etc. even then my qualifications are a bit sketchy. we shall see.

it's been a good week for book buying. found an early edition of wilde's 'picture of dorian gray' and an excellent de-luxe bound and illustrated copy of T.E. Lawrence's 'seven pillars of wisdom.' i got the last one for the equivalent of 2 bucks. un-fucking-believable. you may not have an easy time finding new english fiction in israel, but it's amazing the availability of cheap vinage books. someone (and i say someone because they keep calling themselves anonymous) on the comments asked me about my favorite novel of all time. probably one of the toughest questions you can ask, natch. i'd probably go with Nabakov's 'Lolita' because it's just utterly brilliant and beautiful. i read the annoted version and the man was obviously a genious. it delves deeply into the essence of what it means to be human and moral and truly intelligent. not only in the pages themselves, but in what nabakov is saying to his readers after the fact. when the book was released, the critics almost unanimously agreed that it was in fact the young girl who was morally objectionable. what nabakov does, in his brilliant and eloquent way, is make the reader sympathize with humbert the rapist. he does this so well, in fact, that only those who feel that intellect is based on delving deeper and deeper into the symbolism fail to see that the symbolism is really meant to drive them back into the foreground. that this is the story of a man raping a young girl. it is a living critique of the intellectual failure to step back from philosophies and empathize with humanity. if i were a student of literature i imagine i could explain this far better.

back in the mundane world of everyday, i've finished two papers and am left with three short ones. i need to meet with the advisor tomorrow to talk about one of them. i'm hoping this is not a bad sign. god help me write my ridiculous central asia paper, as i have absolutely no interest in it whatsoever. i'm excited to get to write my historiography paper on sherman's march to the sea. he's certainly one of the most controversial figures in american history.

i also apparently keep sending people messages when i get home after pubcrawling. if i've done this to you, i apologize, if i havent, i also apologize. either way it seems to have been very entertaining for all parties involved.

my parents move into their new home this weekend and i'm excited that i'll have a study with a fireplace. my dream of being an old man comes closer to fruition every day. now i should probably go do something productive.

Saturday, April 02, 2005

i can't explain it, but i feel a part of the mourning process. it seems the whole world has been glued to their tv's following the news. i can't say i blame them, he was an incredible man. he grew up with nothing and came to be one of the most well known men in the world. he lived generously and bravely. i can only believe he died the same way. he changed the way so many people thought, even those of us who didn't subscribe to what he believed in. the greatness of his influence could only be matched by the greatness of his heart. he was an inspiration, a leader, and a heck of a fine human being. i know that beyond all the grief, we'll be able to go on thinking fondly of his fine words, "it takes a tough man to make a tender chicken."